Therapeutic spanking

Such a strange concept, but then again why not? I do know when I am stressed, spanking can help, when I am hormonal spanking can help, and when I am edgy spanking can help! So why wouldn’t spanking help when I am simply down? No reason. It did.

I suspect it is in the brain chemistry, which is less than static as I struggle through menopause. In Digits and Maryanne on Domestic Discipline there is an essay called Hormones Affecting Spanking. Digits gives a scientific explanation for how this works. I have no idea, with no medical/science background, if Digits’ theory is valid, but I do know that it works.


Usually, when I am past my spanking due date, have gone over the 4-5 day limit, I get edgy, and the attitude starts to creep in if I am not careful. If we have happened to forget that a spanking is due, we both realize soon. What is clear is that a spanking fixes what ails me. We have tracked it and learned that a spanking about 24 hours before my cycle begins really helps with the PMS…i.e. the hormones. I just I feel less frenetic and more settled…less “hormonal”!

So these past few weeks have just been difficult. As I have mentioned I am feeling pressured at work. Home is fine but busy, and then Grant and I have lots of extended family problems that are becoming more difficult. We both have elderly parents who both live 3000 miles away, and who are not only both in poor health but also difficult, needy and manipulative. As if teenagers weren’t enough, now we have the parents to deal with too! It has just gotten to me and I have been down. Not big time depressed but clearly not quite myself, either.

To make matters worse, somehow last week we missed maintenance. Kid and work things came up and 4 days turned to 5 and then 6. The typical edginess never appeared, but instead I was just blue. It started to feel like I hardly cared whether we went through our ritual spanking or not. I say ritual because the way we do maintenance is very routine and we go through the motions whether we need it or not, feel like it not, want it or not. We just do it because it is part of what defines and supports the DD marriage, the commitments, and reinforces the dynamic. I think a lot of times you are not so aware of that in the moment, but there has to be a decision to ‘just do it’ anyway.

So though I was un-enthused, we ‘just did it’. I told Grant how I was feeling, and of course, he knew it anyway. Apparently, he decided that a very rigorous spanking was the ticket to mental health. Most maintenance spankings he goes through our entire inventory. He might spank for an hour. This time he did all that and added in his new find, a bamboo back scratcher. I am thinking it was sort of like a cane? Solid bamboo, long, flat and it made an impressive whoosh when he was using it hard. Not wonderful, but as far as I am concerned not as bad as that awful olive wood spoon he is so partial to! He had me begging and close to tears towards the end. Tears are rare when I am not being punished. I felt it for two days too…not bruised but a bit sore.

But, here’s the thing…my spirits did lift. The problems did not change or the stress at work. Nothing changed but something indefinable inside. All in all, I would rather be sore than sad! In fact I would rather be sore than mad, aggravated, frustrated or unhappy. Weird, huh? Maybe that is what makes me a spanko, or maybe it is that we have discovered a new (old) route to mental health. I am just glad it works, and can’t wait for Friday! TGIF has taken on a new meaning here!

17 thoughts on “Therapeutic spanking

  1. Sara, excellent post and so true.
    Mel always said that my spankings were magical, somehow they seemed to solve most emotional problems, the spankings and of course the love that was always there.
    Warm hugs,

  2. I understand this completely. For me it is something about being acknowledged, being noticed, being cared for. I don’t feel alone, I know someone has my back (or backside). It is just a wonderful release.

    I am sorry about the extended family problems. I to am/was part of the sandwich generation. Trying to care for parents and children at the same time is soooo hard and my parents were mostly easy to get along with and went along with what I needed to do for them. Try to keep your sense of humor. Nick and I laughed at some thing that were NOT really funny but he and I could still see the sad humor in it and the laughter with my trusted husband really helped!


  3. I understand what you mean. Yesterday I was feeling really low. I was quieter and all I wanted to do was cry. Chad’s been really cracking down this week and I got a spanking. I felt so much better afterwards. Almost giddy. It was a relief.


  4. Dear Sara,
    I too also need those stress relief spankings. My fiance starts to spank me while I am sleeping, and gradually increases the severity until past the point that Ive broken down completely. I find it very cathartic. He also draws a warm bath and pampers me for the rest of the day..

  5. Spanking causes the brain to release endorphins that are similar to seratonin, the happy hormone, so it really can help relieve stress and depression. I know I often feel much better and much calmer after a good spanking. It helps break down my aggression and anger.

  6. All this time I thought i was crazy. Thank you for clearig the air. my female partner is now starting to feel the same way.

  7. Hmmm, it looks like I never responded to all your kind comments. Thank you!

    Bds, I don’t know if you are crazy or not…but the therapeutic spanking does work!

  8. My thoughts are with you Sara.

    I’d like to put a somewhat different side of things as I am male, late-50s, and don’t have the family pressures. I’m also far away across The Atlantic, though I’m not sure that matters!

    The side of the single man wanting discipline therapy.

    I am by no means fully bisexual but I think (may be wrong) many who feel old-fashioned discipline outside of wedlock would do them some good, wish it to be administered by a member of the same sex – preferably older, too. It’s a generalisation by no means for all, but perhaps it’s a necesary, slightly regressive touch for some people as physical punishments in UK schools were normally by a teacher or head-teacher of the same sex as the recipient. (Physical punishment was finally outlawed in UK schools some years ago.)

    So although I escaped the cane, which was very rarely used anyway, maybe that’s why I feel I need to be over an older man’s lap. Why be spanked though?

    Why would a single man approaching sixty, who has always hated personal violence even in sports like boxing, want his bottom smacking hard?

    Well, stress-relieving as Sara finds, is certainly perfectly valid. So is the purely erotic aspect.

    And the yonger-M by Older-M friend-in-spanking has a vague “authority” and intimacy missing from the too-clinical, too-theatrical alternative, the costly services of a dominatrice. Though these ladies will tell you that the majority of their BDSM clients, of either sex, don’t want pain, just humiliation, but for the same therapeutic stress-relieving. (Many clients are in pressured, supervisory and managerial professional roles so feel better for a session in a startlingly-opposite “role”.)

    In my case the stress is self-induced by poor self-discipline, so I feel I need an “Elder”, not to be especially dominant or try to lead my life for me, but to encourage me do what I want or need to do without lapsing into a procrastination / inconclusion / frustration / lowered morale that destroys motivation, cycle.

    How I’d go about it is another matter but there are contact services available so it’s a matter of finding someone reasonably locally who importantly, can understand my needs. Although I am not naive: anyone I meet is there because he enjoys spanking others!

    Toi sum up, like Sara I seek a physical outlet for the stress induced by my life – the major difference, apart from having no spouse to do the honours, being that the causes of stress differ. Sara’s are external; mine are internal and though far less important because they do not involve other people, the stress is still real.

    To conclude, Sara (and husband), stand up to the manipulation. Using pure generalising your parents are probably difficult because they are genuinely very frustrated and exhausted by their dwindling ability to cope with themselves and each other, but whilst I sympathise with that, it does not excuse their manipulating other people.

  9. Hi Nigel, I don’t really have the experience to comment on your needs or what would work or not work, but I do think that both internal and external stresses are very real, and can affect one’s quality of life. If it’s safe, sane and consensual…and you feel it’s good for you, then go for it! Just my personal opinion.

    I am not really sure what you are referring to about the manipulation or the parents. Maybe it was a comment from another post? Anyway, thanks for reading and thanks for commenting!

  10. Thank you Sara for your support!

    Manipulation: your own phrase right at the start was “difficult, needy and manipulative”. I added to that, general knowledge from own and vicarious experiences of friends & relatives.

    I’ve been lucky in many ways, though I’ve always just wombled vaguely through life from one crisis via the next failure to the new cock-up, and making many mistakes, but I have seen & heard enough heartbreak & unhappiness around me to have a pretty fair idea of why people sometimes react to things they way they do.

    I don’t say I’m always right, though, because what one person will do is not necessarily what another would do in the same situation.

    I suppose we all have our own ways to cope with stress, and some people handle it better than others. I have had a few relationships but never been married, nor have I any children so at least I do not have to worry that will let down any dependents if things really got to me.

    Nevertheless I do feel under stress, or unhappy, from various things even if most of the causes are down to me.

    As far as using spanking goes, for my part at least I think there is a vaguely absurd aspect to it all which helps by making the problems themselves seem less serious than I’d been making them. I think the “Elder” I seek is basically a sort of amateur counsellor who, wittingly or not, will encourage me even if apparently commanding me.

    Whether or not I find anyone I have no idea. Whether it would work only time will tell but if nothing else it will satisfy our disciplinary desires.

  11. I hear ya and I so agree!
    Brutus realized this too, that once I started to feel ‘bummed’ a spanking could really help! Considering my ‘issues’ bummed can spiral downwards very quickly, but if Brutus catches it early, like in the first cpl days or so I can be much better instantly just by a spanking! It’s kinda wicked isn’t it? *grins*

  12. It’s a curious thing but I’ve only very recently encountered this notion of therapeutic or stress-relieving spanking, rather than as just sexual SM play. Same too with desiring to be spanked in a disciplinary way.

    I do make a careful distinction between the latter and some rather disturbing web-sites I’ve seen that try to justify domestic corporal punishment on pseudo-socio/religious grounds, for these appear to be promoting a rather unhealthy male chauvenist control-freakery. And I say that as a late-50s male.

    A late-50s male who sometimes desires being disciplined too, for therapeutic and disciplinary benefits.

  13. I totally agree on spanking therapy. I dont understand why we dont have it in Portland Oregon. As a child I was paddled one time and it worked and made me stay on the right path.

  14. Spanking therapy works for me Angelina, but I have to say, we don’t believe in hitting (spanking) kids…never have, never will.

  15. Of course it is therapy – spanking releases endorphins as much, if not more than acupuncture does. It releases stress and revitalises anyone who has the right mental attitude towards it and the right person to help them with their therapy. I think lots of us need a spanking therapist and I wish I could find one!

  16. Well, here’s my quandry. My husband is the one who battles anxiety and depression and no self-esteem. I would love to be spanked. I think it would help him to become more dominant and help with his self-esteem to take me in hand. I try to treat him as HoH, but he doesn’t take to it. But HE’S the one who could benefit from the endorphins. I don’t know if I could spank him. He already is so passive as it is.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s