Doing Things His Way
We write and read all about submission, and it can often sound so romantic and sexy and fun. Sometimes it is. But you know, most times it is really not. Most often it takes a whole lot of compromise, sometimes deep breathing and self talk, and even at times, irritation, and then I get through it. Most of what I am talking about involves just boring real life things, too. It’s all well and good, sexy and fun (most times) to be told to go strip and wait for him across the bed. It’s a whole other thing to be told NOT to do the dishes when you are about to because he wants your boys to do them (and they HATE doing dishes). Commanded NOT to come into your bedroom because he and your son are catching a baby flying squirrel that you really wanted to see close up (“dangerous”?) . Told NOT to give your sister-in-law a small cash loan when she asked you in private, when she needs it, and when you want to (he has his reasons).
I am not really complaining, just reflecting that the realities are often small and unexciting, and can involve things that I might handle differently, expediently, to my own satisfaction. Instead I try to remember to cooperate, to comply and I keep the peace because that’s the deal. It ain’t sexy, but it’s real.
Dazy said,
July 19, 2009 at 11:03 pm
My HOH often reminds me that submitting is really only done when we have opposite desires. When its hard to do what he wants. But its really the only time I’m truly submitting.
Dazy
Amber said,
July 20, 2009 at 1:40 pm
*Most* of the time I submit without a thought anymore, like your squirrel thing and the loan. I will talk to Dan about something or ask him something and he uses a certain tone when he says “no” and I realize there is to be no arguing, this is his final word. And I submit without thinking these days.
Well, *most* of the time. Sometimes I still want my way so I’ll ask again or try to cajole him to see it my way. Over 90 percent of the time the answer is still “no” and this time with a warning glance/tone. Sometimes he’ll cave in for me, though.
Most of the time, not.
No is no and I just have to live with it.
He’s usually right, too, that’s maybe the worst part, lol! ;_P