We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to participate in Bonnie’s Brunch. I had something else I was working on to post, but this was such a good Brunch Topic I could not resist joining in. Please go ahead and add your thoughts too!
From My Bottom Smarts: Here are four thoughts. Do you agree? Why or why not?
1. It’s always been a fascinating paradox that I get what I most desire when I surrender my control.
I agree, although I am not quite sure why it happens. Maybe there is a kind of homeostasis that happens in a relationship, and when one partner steps back the other steps forward? That happens with us on many levels.
2. Submission is not an all or nothing proposition. There are many ways to submit and many degrees of submission for each.
Again, I agree. What feels like submission to me, and the degree of submission my partner wants and appreciates might be different than what works in another relationship. There are people who are comfortable with dominance and submission just in the bedroom. There are people who utilize the dynamic as a 24/7 lifestyle. There are those who consider themselves “owned” and take submission to such extremes as needing permission to take any action. There are those (like myself) who do live a 24/7 lifestyle, but relegate the D/s to clear relationship issues and interactions, not things outside the family, in my career, etc. If the partners are happy, in sync, satisfied and fulfilled, they are doing TTWD right…for THEM. That takes a while to figure out and I think we can and do borrow ideas from each other, but in the end you must make it your own, tailored specifically for you and your partner, the two of you.
3. It requires considerable courage and faith to submit. Once established, these qualities are often quite beneficial in other aspects of life.
No question! Submission takes an increased level of self-awareness, self-control, and often an ability to put your immediate needs aside with intention. Working towards developing those capabilities has helped me to develop and mature in other areas of my life. I have seen many positive results in my career as well as my marriage.
4. Everyone who willingly receives a spanking is submitting at some level.
Yes, just accepting a spanking requires a physical submission to the spanker. It also requires a mental decision to go over his lap, to not struggle, to wait until the spanking is done. Just doing that bit alone, for fun and practice, was the beginning of much larger and more involved venture into Domestic Discipline for us. I do think, if it floats your boat, spanking is a great place to start with D and s, and then you can take it where you choose.
Bonnie asks: So what do you think? I invite you to share your view in the form of a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will post an edited summary.
So, I encourage you to head over to Bonnie’s to add your two cents!