Love Our Lurkers 6

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Love Our Lurkers 6

November 9, 2011 by Sara

Today is Love Our Lurkers Day*. What is “a lurker” you may ask. A lurker is a reader who does not leave a comment. A lurker reads, hopefully enjoys, or feels moved, or humored, or enriched, but then she or he moves on because she feels she has nothing to say, or she’s shy, or maybe she’s just rushed. That’s ok.

Many years ago I found the world of blogging as a lurker myself. I googled the S word…yep, spanking (shhh!) and a world I never dared imagine opened before me. Eventually, I wanted to learn everything I could about Domestic Discipline in marriage. I never commented as I thought I had nothing useful to offer.

Besides, what if I left a comment and then someone might know I had been there reading about…the S word?

I would have been wrong, of course. I could have commented completely anonymously, or made up a screen name. Then I could have let the bloggers know that I lurked in cyber space, that they were not alone, that I appreciated their efforts. It took me quite a while to figure out that bloggers wanted to hear from me! Wow…imagine that!

And the very coolest part of all of this is that many of my lurkers have eventually become bloggers themselves. A few have become what I call friends. Some regularly comment, some I email with, some I have even come to know in real life. All have enriched my life…and it all started with one little “hello”.

So this is how it works. You say “hello” and then I’ll say “hello” back.

It’ll be fun, I promise!

I’ll go first…

* Thanks Bonnie!

Posted in Domestic Discipline, Dominance, Marriage, spanking, Submission, Taken in Hand, This Thing We Do | 71 Comments

71 Responses

on November 9, 2011 at 11:06 pm Mick

I don’t lurk. However, I do loom and occasionally I leer (if my wife is wearing something really sexy). So I giving you my nonlurking greeting today. Hope it’s a good one for you.
on November 9, 2011 at 11:56 pm Sweet Marion

Hi Sara,
I love your blog. It gives me so much encouragement! My husband and I are fairly new to this and we’ve had kind of a rough start with starts and stops. I am only allowed one hour a day in blogland – long story- so, I rarely comment but I do read. Wish I had some real life dd friends but reading helps me feel like I’m part of a conversation.
on November 10, 2011 at 12:25 am bree

Hi, Sara. I think I am a lurker here. I am not sure. I might have posted one comment here once. Maybe. Who knows? I could be wrong.

I just wanted to say I appreciate your blog and your point of view. I enjoy reading what you have to say. Your blog intrigues me for the obvious reason, but it also interests me from the relationship stand point as well. I like reading about happy endings and fulfilled lives. It comforts me.

I am not in the category of being in a DD relationship with anyone, therefore I have nothing to offer by way of a comment. How could I comment on something that I am not experiencing or have experienced? I do not think that would be correct to do. If I don’t have anything I think is substantial to add to the discussion, ninety-five percent of the time I keep quiet. The other five percent usually gets me in trouble.

As you can see, I do not like to give general feedbacks to bloggers, I do comment on other blogs where I feel I fit in with the topic or the other people who comment. Besides, most of the time I post to try to be humorous. Some blogs that is appropriate to do on, others it is not in my opinion.

So does that mean I am a comlurker because I comment on some blogs and not others?

Geezzzz!! I am blathering again. See what I mean?

Ok. Well…I just wanted to comment with some show of support and admiration for what you do here. Keep up the good blogging.

Cheers!
on November 10, 2011 at 12:50 am Lea

Happy LOL day, Sara!
on November 10, 2011 at 1:42 am cb

Hello Sara
I have been reading your blog for a couple of years now.
Love you insight on TTWD

Curley
on November 10, 2011 at 1:45 am Jane

Thanks again for your fabulous writing,
From An occasional commenter
on November 10, 2011 at 4:23 am Mistress160

Happy LOL Day from an ex lurker
on November 10, 2011 at 5:32 am Jamie

Hi Sara, although my partner and I are not in a DD relationship I often enter the on line spanking world via your wonderful site and always enjoy reading about your life. Thank you for sharing and happy LOL day
on November 10, 2011 at 5:41 am Ronniesoul

Hi Sara, not a lurker but just wanted to say happy LOL day.

Love,
Ronnie
xx
on November 10, 2011 at 5:53 am Dee

I lurked for a time here before finally having the courage to comment etc
I find your posts very helpful and insightful and would like to say thanku for your feedback, I very much appreciate it
Happy LOL day Sara

Dee x
on November 10, 2011 at 7:28 am Hermione

Hi Sara,

I’m a regular visitor and an irregular commenter. Is that a spanking offense? I always enjoy your posts.

Thanks for being a part of LOL 6.

Hugs,
Hermione
on November 10, 2011 at 8:33 am Ally

hi Sara, Happy LOL Day
on November 10, 2011 at 8:34 am Dan

Sara -enjoy your blog and thanks for writing.so much and so often
on November 10, 2011 at 8:39 am Season

Hi, Sara! You are a kindred spirit and I see so much of what you write about your relationship with Grant to ring true from Michael and me, too.

Happy LOL!
on November 10, 2011 at 8:46 am Bon Beems

Hi there! Thank you for your blog. I read it everyday.
on November 10, 2011 at 8:50 am Dragons Rose

Hi! Happy LOL Day, Sara! ! !
on November 10, 2011 at 8:07 am Sara

Mick, in whatever mood or form, you are always welcome here!

Sweet Marion thanks for letting me know. Tell your husband that part of the learning is online, and part of what wives need is support from other

Dd wives. One hour just won’t cut it!

Bree, you have commented here once or twice and I always appreciate your participation. Your comment is NOT too long! 

Thanks Lea!

Glad to hear from you Curly!

Thanks for stopping by Jane!

Mistress 160, ex-lurkers are my favorite!

Jamie, I really like knowing that even non-Dders can enjoy reading here.

Thanks Ronnie!

You’re always hoping for that spankable offense Hermione!
on November 10, 2011 at 9:07 am Scarlet

Hi Sara, I read more than I comment, but I always find what you write worthwhile, whether deeply insightful or just funny. You have a point of view that resonates in my marriage.
on November 10, 2011 at 9:12 am Susie

I lurked here for quite a while before I said hi…and you said hi back…and I was all surprised. It’s funny now to remember how shy I was. So thanks for being kind way back then Sara!
on November 10, 2011 at 9:38 am Rebekah

Happy LOL day!!! Although I don’t make post to my account anymore there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t log into my account to see what everyone else is up to. So I guess that makes me a blogger turned lurker. Those few post that I made you were so sweet to me and made me feel so welcome. I was the victim of a very hateful anonymous comment and I just stopped blogging. I really need to start back up because I know I am not the only one this hateful person has attacked but fear is a powerful emotion. Anyway I am rambling, I just want to let you know that I am still here lurking and I look forward to each post you make.
on November 10, 2011 at 9:40 am Kendra

Just stopping by to say hello. Thanks for your wonderful blog, I lurked here for a few months before I began posting!
on November 10, 2011 at 10:43 am padmeamidala

Hello Sara,
I’m a regular reader of your blog and have been for some time. I don’t think I’ve ever commented on your blog though. Thanks for stopping by mine. I had no idea that you read my blog!

I can relate to a lot of what you blog about. I have a very similar relationship with Anakin.
Hugs,
padme
on November 10, 2011 at 10:49 am Mikki

Yep, I used to lurk here myself…thanks for always being encouraging and entertaining…((hugs))
on November 10, 2011 at 12:06 pm Rogue

Just thought I’d drop by and say hello. Hello! And happy LOL day!!
on November 10, 2011 at 12:09 pm Christina

I am definitely a lurker, because while I’ve been reading your blog for some time now, I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’m commenting. Love the blog! Happy LOL Day, Sara!
on November 10, 2011 at 12:49 pm Raven Red

Sara

Happy LOL day!

Hugs

Raven
on November 10, 2011 at 12:03 pm Grace

I didn’t lurk here for long before commenting. Your blog was one of the first about ttwd that I came across. Happy LOL Day!
on November 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm Sara

I appreciate you stopping by Scarlett!

Thank you for de-lurking back then Susie, and for coming back!

Rebekah, I am glad you’re still around. Seriously, we have ALL had hateful comments, just like we’ve all had some random person give us the finger on the road. So what we need to realize it is their problem, not ours! I hope you do return to blogging!

Hi Kendra and glad to see you! I think we all lulled at the beginning.

Hi Padme, glad you delurked…and yes, I did on your blog too. A lot in our marriages is very different, but I do pop over to see what’s up in your world now and again! 

Mikki, I am SO glad you decided to delurk way back then!

Hi back at ya Rogue!

Thanks you so very much for coming out to say hello Christina!

Hi Raven!

And Grace, another lurker to reader to blogger …awesome!
on November 10, 2011 at 1:21 pm blissfulelysia

Sara, Thanks so much for being the second commenter on my blog back in 2009 and giving me such a warm welcome thereafter. Thanks also for being such a help and support of me, my marriage and for being my go-to-gal when WordPress drives me up a wall! lol!
This post was awesome, and you have a wonderful way of being welcoming and giving courage where courage is needed. (in many areas of need!)
I felt that same encouragement and clicked the *COMMENT* button on your blog before all others. Now I am a veteran commenter, have lovely new friends and have found a wealth of information about myself, Dd and my spanking needs.
I could never thank you enough, but I’ll try…..THANK YOU!
Happy LOL Day! Hugs, Elysia
on November 10, 2011 at 1:22 pm Cindy

Half a lurker here, I have commented before. Still hoping to get hubby fully in line with a Dd relationship, we got side tracked and I think this is the best avenue for us. Ah well, in the mean time I lurk…

Thanks for all the great stories and advice!

Cindy
on November 10, 2011 at 1:35 pm lil one

Happy LOL Day, Sara!!
on November 10, 2011 at 1:47 pm Michael

Happy LOL Day, Sara! I am not lurker but don’t comment as much as I should. Your insights and honesty affect me and Season greatly, and our relationship mirrors your’s and Grant’s in many positive ways. Thanks for sharing and influencing us and many others.
on November 10, 2011 at 2:08 pm Faerie

Hi Sara, I enjoy your blog.
on November 10, 2011 at 2:34 pm Greenwoman

Hello Sara. I love the look of your blog and have been reading via my Reader for awhile now. Just wanted to say Happy LOL Day and to tell you that I really enjoy your content very much. I too have made many friends because of blogging or commenting on other blogs. It is a blessing to me to have these wonderful friends. Hopefully this year we both make some new friends because of LOL Day. Happy writing!
on November 10, 2011 at 2:56 pm Kay

Hi Sara! You blog was the first I found (and I think the first I finally got the courage to comment on, LOL)! Thank you for your wisdom, and candid posts. Happy LOL Day!

Kay
on November 10, 2011 at 3:07 pm L.

I always read your blog but comment infrequently– only if i really have something to say. Your blog was one of the first I read to figure out what I wanted (and didn’t want) in my relationship with my husband. Even though our use of Dd is “minimalist”, it has improved our marriage and I’m truly grateful for the insights you have shared with us, and your candor.

I particularly appreciate that you speak up about the difficult issues like abuse of power, control issues, disrespect of wives, the need for women to have a voice — and ongoing choice– about how and whether Dd is implemented in their relationships. We cannot afford to overlook these things– too much is at stake.
on November 10, 2011 at 3:34 pm SPANKEDHORTIC II

happy LOL day.

Prefectdt
on November 10, 2011 at 2:58 pm Tenth Muse Top

Hi Sara,

This is my first visit here and so I chose an article and found it excellent! I shall be back. Happy LOL Day!
TMT
on November 10, 2011 at 3:06 pm Sara

Aww, thank you for letting me know all that Elysia. I appreciate it more than you know!

Keep at it Cindy, and thanks for stopping by!

Hello lil one!

I always love hearing from you Michael, and am very happy for you and Season!

Thanks Faerie!

Greenwoman, thanks for reading and commenting. Yes, those friends are indeed a blessing!

And thank you for stopping by Kay…another lurker turned blogger…yay!

All very true, L, and an issue that is important to me too. Thanks for the support!

Hi Prefectdt!

Hi TMT and welcome! I do hope you’ll be back!
on November 10, 2011 at 4:16 pm Mindy

Happy LOL Day, Sara! I love reading your posts but I don’t comment much. Thank you for taking the time and effort to share so much with us. You are ‘The Force’ in DD.
on November 10, 2011 at 4:21 pm kiwigirliegirl

Happy LOL day sara. Yours was the VERY first blog that i read. I asked you question after question after question and you were so patient and understanding and you always give such great sound advice. Without your blog I really dont know where I would be in the DD life. Thank you for all your words of wisdom whether just from your posts or from direct questions I have asked.
Love and hugs kiwi xxx
on November 10, 2011 at 4:27 pm slavetøsa

Hello
on November 10, 2011 at 5:29 pm monigem

Hi Sara,
I am a real lurker from Hungary over 50. My English is very poor therefore I dont have courage to write more.
happy LOL day

lurker
on November 10, 2011 at 6:05 pm SunnyGirl

Happy LOL. I m a regular reader – but I have commented – just not always.
Enjoy your posts and share some of them with my husband. We are not in a DD marriage but we both enjoy spanking. Me getting, him giving. We’ve been together for over forty years and just recently have incorporated spanking into our lives. Never too late.
on November 10, 2011 at 6:16 pm Sarah

I look at your blog every morning and when there is a new post I find myself mulling over it all day.Now just how darned proud does THAT make you feel ! Best,Sarah,LD,UK
on November 10, 2011 at 6:28 pm Lucy Young

Hi! I want to thank both you and Grant ! Yours is the first blog I found when I started this journey. It is nice getting both sides. I have hooted when Grant comments on your posting and you tell him it is your blog and your side of the story. Thank you again for letting me draw from your experiences. Lucy
on November 10, 2011 at 6:55 pm Alice

Hi Sara, I do enjoy the thought provoking posts, have been lurking here for a while. Happy LOL day
on November 10, 2011 at 7:06 pm D.

Hi, Sara! Yours was the first blog I commented on. You have been a wonderful source of information and support. Thank you!
on November 10, 2011 at 7:06 pm Jack and Jill

Hello! We typed “Love Our Lurkers 6″ into Yahoo, and your blog popped right up. This is our first visit, but won’t be the last. We’re glad to cross paths with you.
on November 10, 2011 at 7:14 pm Daisy

Hello, Sara, happy LOL day! xxxxxxxxxx
on November 10, 2011 at 7:58 pm A. Lurker

Hi Sara,
Wow! Another LOL Day has me reminiscing. A few years ago I Googled the “S” word and came across something saying “Sara knew she was going to be spanked later”. It piqued my interest so I clicked the link. I guess the rest is history. I enjoyed the story but, more than that, I felt a connection to the way you wrote, the way you saw the world and your personality.

In those early years I felt like I was more a voyeur than a lurker. I was not in a DD marriage so why was I here and what could I possibly contribute? Yet, the things you wrote about were things that happen in our marriage, too, and feelings that I, too, have felt. One day I actually gathered my courage and posted a comment. I was sure you would probably delete or ignore it but you didn’t. Now, a few years later, I comment occasionally, we sometimes email each other and we sometimes even go through the same things with our families at the same time. I like to think we are becoming friends! Like you said – it all started with a little “hello”.

So, “hello” to you, Sara and thank you for caring enough to turn a voyeur into a welcome member of your online family. Happy LOL Day!
R.
on November 10, 2011 at 7:38 pm dd

Happy LOL Day, Sara.I have commented on here once before but then duck down into the smoke of silence. Your writing has been insightful for me as we have moved deeper into a DD marriage.
on November 10, 2011 at 7:50 pm Sara

Mindy, thanks for stopping by, and “may the force be with you!”

Aww, thanks Kiwi! You know, a few special people helped me along my way, and it’s truly a pleasure to be able to help others!
Hello back at ya, slavetøsa!

Monigem, your English is JUST fine and I am so glad to ‘meet’ you!

SunnyGirl, Good for you! No it’s NEVER too late! We started in our late 40’s.

It makes me feel just great Sarah, thank you!

Hi Lucy! Yes, you do get 2 sides of the same story here from time to time.

Thanks for delurking Alice!

D, I always welcome your thoughtful comments!

Hi Jack and Jill! I’ll look forward to ‘seeing’ you again!

Happy LOL Day Daisy!

R, being in a ‘real’ DD marriage is not the only reason to read here or a qualification for participation. I am so very glad you took that risk and chimed in!

Thanks for popping your head up again DD!
on November 10, 2011 at 9:12 pm Mischief Manager

Sara, I’m probably not an official lurker, but merely the lurking appendage of a more consistent follower. Have a great LOL day!
on November 10, 2011 at 9:36 pm hillary

Hi Sara,

I have been reading your blog for a while now, but haven’t felt like I’ve had anything original to add. I’m glad to have the opportunity to just write in and tell you “thanks”, and to let you know that I’m out here following along. I’m in a DD lifestyle too, and I’ve been really interested to find out that there are so many of us out there as evidenced by the comments on this and other spanking blogs during LOL day. What a warm fuzzy! Keep it up, and thanks so much for all you do!
H.
on November 10, 2011 at 9:44 pm Pink

I love what you do here, Sara. You are a well-respected blogger, and it’s plain to see why.

XX,

Pink
on November 10, 2011 at 9:51 pm sarah thorne

I still read, even if under a different name now!!

sarah
on November 10, 2011 at 10:06 pm Jean

Hi, Sarah, Not a lurker but wanted to say hi and have a good weekend.
on November 10, 2011 at 10:11 pm cedeno

I am soooo not a lurker. I love your blog Sara. I think you are insightful and informative and honest. I think you guys are a lot like us.

Happy LOL day!!!

Kelly
on November 10, 2011 at 11:54 pm betheisley

I think I’ve commented once or twice before, but although I do read your blog regularly, I hardly ever comment. I love how you approach things so intelligently.
on November 11, 2011 at 12:02 am hindsightreflections

Happy LOL Day, Sara! I can’t begin to tell you how much your blog means to me.
Kady
on November 11, 2011 at 12:19 am A.S.S.

Happy LOL Day! When asked “what’s a good DD blog”… we always send folks your way. Really appreciate the honest and straightforward approach you offer. Thank you!

~Todd and Suzy
on November 11, 2011 at 8:29 am heather1

Happy LOL day! Thank you for sharing.
heather1
on November 11, 2011 at 4:26 pm Grant

Hello all,

THANK GOD that Sara Googled the “S” word!

It has changed our life from hell to HEAVEN.

I hope the Best for all!
on November 15, 2011 at 9:07 pm Lori

I love your blog. It’s so thoughtful and you seem to have it so together. I love your sense of humor. But, most of all, I love that you focus on mindset. Spanking will never be part of our relationship, but the rest of it – the mindset, the respect, the giving up control, the honesty. That’s the direction I want to move in. I think I could be spanko, but my HOH couldn’t and I have problems with it on one level too because I don’t agree with it for my kids sake. At the same time, HOH and I need a way that works for us that is better than what we have – hence my e-exploration for ideas.

My kids are small, so it’s an authority-child relationship right now, but I am working towards teaching them to be self-reliant, respectful of themselves and others, I don’t want to spank them in solicit a desired behavior. The vision I have for my daughter is NOT to have someone punishing her as a way to work out the power structure in their relationship. So I struggle with how I can want it for myself? Shouldn’t the same vision hold for myself? Or does that make me a hypocrite? Have you ever felt conflict about this? I also think my HOH doesn’t want to feel that he is the only adult in the house.

I broached the ‘s’ word with my HOH, and he said he would completely lose respect for someone who needed that from someone else in order to behave. He agrees with the whole HOH role though…that it doesn’t work to have us each rowing in our own direction. And, he could never sit back and let someone else steer the rudder, so he agrees it has to be him in charge. It was momentous for him to reach that mindset, so this is rolling out for us very slowly. I do tease him about it when he asks me to do something now – ‘oh yeah? what are you going to do if I don’t'? He did get in my face the other day when I was in a bad mood and tell me my behavior (I was throwing toys across the toy room at the time) was unacceptable. (I was so proud of him – he wouldn’t normally just stomp off and ignore me).

So, I am coming out of lurkdom in a big way….Hope you don’t mind. Thanks for having such a great blog.
on November 16, 2011 at 11:05 am Sara

Mischief Manager, I think you’ve not attained the status of official delurker! Welcome!

And thanks for stopping by and delurking Hillary. You know hearing from YOU makes all of us, me included, feel less alone too!

Thanks so much Pink!

Sarah T, you can run but you cannot hide! (for long) I always look forward to hearing from you!

Jean, no not a lurker but a steady presence and I so appreciate that!

Thanks Kelly! And yes, I think our marriages have much in common too!

Betheisley…how nice to hear from you again!

Always appreciated Kady, your support and your comments!

Thanks Todd and Suzy! In bloggerland, your kudos mean a lot!

Heather1, Happy LOL Day!

Grant, is “Thank God for Spanking” your version of “Hello”?

Thanks for delurking Lori! You are most welcome here and I hope you’ll be a regular reader.
How about I answer your questions in a separate post?
on November 24, 2011 at 6:53 pm pamela

Hi Sara and Grant…I just found your blog this morning via.. Blissful Dwelling Place via… Husbandly Touch.
I’ve read just one entry so far, but I know I’m going to love it. I like your humor and grant’s sensibility. The two previously mentioned blogs are very well written and on this Thanksgiving day I am thankful to have found them all. Sometimes reading them makes me sad on a way because I am not only without a partner but without DD and I often wonder if I will ever have it in my life ….aside from living vicariously through DD blogs. But I’m almost 52 and my reality is that this may be the only way to have a connection to DD.

In any case …. thank you both for sharing. I helps to know I’m not the only one who feels the need/desire for DD.

Pamela
on November 25, 2011 at 9:30 am Sara

Hi Pamela, I am glad you found us and thanks for commenting! We started DD when we were 48 and 54 respectively. We’re not exactly of the young set ourselves! At 52 you are certainly not too old to find a new love. You have the whole rest of your life! I wish you the best, Sara
on November 27, 2011 at 11:11 pm Jane

To Pamela,

Just want to tell you that I am 55 yo and found my partner at 51! He reminds me he is not naturally dominant, but I share some of Sara’s posts with him, and he’s getting the idea!

After a recent shared Sara post, he said, “you are a lot like that writer.”, which I considered a big complement!
on December 6, 2011 at 4:01 pm Cher

Hi! I’ve never posted a comment anywhere before… but because you seemed to be speaking to me when you defined “lurker,” I chuckled to myself and decided to give it a try.

So, hi.

I was reading your blog regarding being married, but not willing to give up control… fighting with your husband, etc. The divorce, the separation… and now you’re back together as you came to realize who you really are, not who you thought you should be. At least, that’s my interpretation of the I AM WOMAN thing.

Your story is very similar to my story. It was actually very helpful to me… just reading it and knowing that there are others out there like.

So, thanks.
on December 9, 2011 at 10:02 am Sara

Thanks for sharing that Jane!

Hi Cher! Thanks for de-lurking! I am glad it was helpful to you. Yes, you’re interpreting correctly.

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My Domestic Discipline Journey

Love Our Lurkers 6

Besides, what if I left a comment and then someone might know I had been there reading about…the S word?

So this is how it works. You say “hello” and then I’ll say “hello” back.

It’ll be fun, I promise!

I’ll go first…

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Love Our Lurkers 6

Besides, what if I left a comment and then someone might know I had been there reading about…the S word?

So this is how it works. You say “hello” and then I’ll say “hello” back.

It’ll be fun, I promise!

I’ll go first…

Share this:

71 Responses

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

Domestic Discipline

On Hiatus

This Thing We Do

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