It’s been coming for a while now. A change. Yes another one in a series of life changes. Is this why they call this stage “the change of life”? Is it because as a woman’s body goes through radical change, her life commonly does too? My first-born turned 26 in September. That was…well a surprise. I mean somehow 26 seems more adult than 25, and yes, he is in fact more adult. His birthday is followed by mine, and in October I turned 55. WHAT???? No, I am not retiring, not donning orthopedic shoes, and in fact feel I am on a roll. I am in better shape physically, much slimmer (sexier my husband tells me), and at the height of my career rather than at its end. Still, “55″ was a tad hard to swallow, let alone the fact that my handsome husband is now in his 60′s.
So, benchmarks. We use them to help ourselves know where we are on this path we travel called life. We had our 7 yr Dd anniversary on Sept 1st, which means we’re into our 8th year. (Yes, I do still consider us a Dd couple.) This blog turned 5 years old on that same date of Sept 1st.
….So many changes.
And now, today, I accompanied our son to the city, to our family jeweler, to help him pick out an engagement ring for the young woman he intends to propose to on New Year’s Eve. Shhhh…..she doesn’t know. Her parents don’t know yet. My other kids don’t know. Just Grant and I. And now you. But please let it be our little secret, ok?
So I am soon to be a pre mother-in law. (because this is all about me after all!) My baby is getting ready to be a husband…married. And then who knows what’s next!?! Sigh…am I ready? I think the answer is “Ready or not!”
I took my son to lunch before we visited the jeweler at a nice restaurant. We had an hour drive and then lunch, so lots of time to talk. I searched my jewelry box and found the a vintage Marcasite pin composed of MOTHER in script. It belonged to my mother. I wore it to bring her along in some way, and also to remind me to be the best mother I could be. I was careful to gently ask questions where appropriate without killing his happiness, without questioning his judgement or undermining his intent. I also told him how much I love him, how proud I am of the man he has become. I thanked him for inviting me to come with him and told him how special that was to me. And it was very special to be invited. A day to be remembered, one I will treasure in my memories.
After much deliberation and many many rings, he picked a gorgeous antique filigree, diamonds in white gold . I was careful to assist quietly, to be helpful by asking questions and I let him determine his answers. I did not voice a preference or pick for him. His day, his woman, his life, his choices. He chose the ring that spoke to him about who she is, one she will love to wear for the rest of her life. It’s very beautiful. She’s beautiful. And it was a beautiful experience to share with my son. I am so very grateful!
PS. He told me over lunch he likes that she is “submissive”, because he is a dominant sort of man.