A Shout and A Pout


After my post yesterday, and the comments, the comments from the guys…geez. I need to interrupt my regularly scheduled next post to pout. I mean seriously guys….Mr. BB, Bas, Mick and Grant! This is no walk in the park ya know!

I don’t LIKE change! Things were working just fine for ME. And who made you…him…Grant…HOH anyway? Ok, that would have been me, but that was then and this is now and I’d don’t like it anymore. At least not right now.

I realized last night that I am not taking to these changes as seamlessly as I had thought. I am, well, I’m mad. I don’t LIKE change. Have I mentioned that? And I don’t LIKE new rules (that aren’t even really rules bc they’re not clear, not spelled out). What, you say? ” ‘Do what I tell you to do!’ is clear enough and also constitutes a rule.”?

No, that is a decree, an edict, a…well…just sayin’, for the record…

I don’t like it!

I told Grant this morning. He made me tell him what was wrong, and then
he said, basically, “Too bad.”

Let’s put it to a vote, shall we?











I'm cutePhew! Well, I’m glad we got that settled!

32 thoughts on “A Shout and A Pout

  1. No way you can be in charge, hun.
    But if you want I’ll use the next opportunity to stick my tongue out at Mr G……you can mastermind my gettaway and I’ll hot foot it and wait in the bar for you with a large gin and tonic.
    Boy, will I enjoy that drink !
    Hard luck.

  2. lol… no harm meant my dear friend :)
    Wow, you really pulled the HoHs out of the woodwork with your last post!
    If there’s a “vote” you do know that the only votes that really count are yours & Grants, but I would (as you might guess) vote on the side of communicating new rules and … well … Grant :)

  3. Thanks Lucy! ONE for me! :)

    Sarah, are you sure there’s no way? Ok, FINE. I’ll settle for a gin and tonic.

    Thanks I.

    And I am sooo surprised that you voted for Grant Mr. BB!

    Ooh, TWO for me. Thanks Abby. (No it matters not one iota! :( )

  4. Stupid, stupid rules! Why do our men have to be right so often?! Unfortunately Starman is with Grant every inch of the way, but you get my vote Sara!



  5. Well, well, well…

    The old adage: He who forgets history is condemned to repeat it…

    As for change: Things change. Of all people, Sara, you know that. I have often heard you repeat that idea. It is very true.

    For all HOH’s, it is always wise to expect change, to embrace it, and to use it as a catalyst to the next step to success in any endeavor. Hopefully, and I know you agree, change can be good and change can be bad.

    My recent fall and ressurection has proved that. NO PUN INTENDED. NO DISRESPECT TO JESUS’S TEACHINGS. Just what it feels like: a spiritual revelation, epiphany, awakening after a painful blindness, only to find the world has changed. Sara has changed (hello) and I have changed. As a matter of fact everyone I know is scrutinized in a new light.

    So, change is the way of all life. Any reliigious or spiritual teacher will tell us that. Why is it so hard to accept change?

    One, because it takes us out of our comfort zone. Change creates the need for efforts beyond what we have experienced before. Change is the great fear of older folks (damn, just when I thought I had this ride down to a science), bc someone above throws in a new wrinkle, the proverbial wrench- and now I have to act differently, change my expectations, rearrange my world view, and yes, deal with any changes in people that I have deep relations with, not only the HOH, not only the spouse, not only the children, but the relationship I have with myself.

    Preachy…getting too boring.



  6. I get you Sara. This $#!&’s hard! And I know that DD or D/s or whatever you choose to label it involves growing, changing, evolving, and patience for all parties involved, especially in an established marriage in which this is a new dynamic. And sometimes the rules and punishments, and what rules will constitute punishments, are not as clear as we’d like. I’m not advocating brattiness (though I’m sure I practice it more than I should) but perhaps a conversation about clarity would help. (I know it would sure help in my house!).

    Good luck to you!

  7. Well, I’ve got to put in my vote for Beauty. She’s inspiring and caring.

    But the Beast is really a tenderhearted guy who just wants the best for those he loves.

    Tough decisions, but Beauty gets my vote. ;) I mean, she comments on my blog!

  8. I know Ami, isn’t it irritating when they’re right?

    Ya think Cat? :???:

    Grant, it’s a good thing you’re so smart. I’d be even madder at you if you weren’t! ;)

    Thanks Linda. Yes, we have had several discussions about clarity, and I am a quick study. It was just the shock of it all! :shock:

    Elisa, at least you have your priorities straight! ;)

  9. LOL, the only perspective I have is from the HOH’s.

    Lynda has been at this point a couple of times: “I DON’T WANT IT LIKE THIS!” and as the discussion goes on, I say, “You’re free to withdraw consent.” So far we’re still at it.

    But that’s between the two of us, with you, I’d rather be friends than right.

    But I am right.

  10. Let me start by saying I feel overwhelmingly under qualified to be giving YOU any sort of advice – but here goes.

    Have you thought about the alternative? Have you thought about how you might feel if Grant had not wanted to come back to DD at all? Would that be better? From the perspective of a girl who’s husband is very much on the fence, I’m quite jealous of Grant’s certainty. There is no doubt who is holding the reigns; isn’t that what we all ultimately want? OK – I will stop preaching now.

    Oh, I guess I just voted for Grant. Sorry sister, but I think it is what you may want also :)

  11. Awe Sara! it’s so hard when things seem to change quickly. For me it’s hard to give up another piece of control. Truth is you voted…Grant. So my vote goes to him as it’s what makes you both happiest :) (please don’t hate me! lol)



  12. Since when is “cute” important for being put in charge. This isn’t politics, this is serious.
    Let’s be honest. I don’t care at all who is in charge, who spanks who or whatever.
    I just want you to celebrate your marriage in a way that makes both of you happy.

  13. I know you’re right Mick, as is Grant, but that doesn’t make it easy. I wouldn’t withdraw consent either.

    Michele, all kidding aside, OF COURSE it’s what I want. If I was in charge, if I had to be, if Grant wasn’t able to handle me and us, I wouldn’t really be able to respect him, and that would ruin what we have, which is mostly wonderful.

    Pocahontas, I read your comment to Grant. He chuckled and appreciated the logic. And yes, I did indeed vote for him!

    We do indeed Zoe! Girl power!? ;)

    Bas, you’re going all serious on me! I guess you don’t know me well enough, but this post was completely tongue in cheek. I hope you weren’t offended? ..and if a gal can’t stomp her foot on her own blog, where can she?

  14. Honestly, I think this might be more about the two of you finding each other again, you learning to let Grant lead again and being able to be comfortable with that, you letting go of that control that you felt you needed to take back for a bit. I could be totally wrong of course, but that’s what comes to mind for me.

    Let me ask you something…do you want to be the one in charge?

    Now then, if I’m just having some fun and being supportive, then of course I vote for you! ;)

  15. You are totally on target Grace. Yes, that is exactly what this is all about. And no, while I have become more used to being less connected over the last year, through illness and necessity, but it is a stress to be in charge in the marriage. I handed that back to Grant years ago. The problem is, once you start being in charge again, or interrupt the dynamic for a longer period of time, It IS hard to get back to letting go. I’m going to have to work on this, just like I did the first time around. And, like he did then, Grant will help me. He’s right about all of it, and he’s been very supportive too. There is a Prince of a man inside my Beast!

  16. I had a smart answer till I read your hubby’s comment. The HoH’yness made it evaporate. It’s pretty comforting to know that everything is going to be okay…you are in good hands.

  17. Can I ask if you felt like this the first time around Sara? Or is it harder now?
    Seems Grant is thoroughly embracing this change, I’m sure you’ll catch up :)

    Dee x

  18. I brought up dd with my husband, because I wanted to change (deep inside myself), yet when it gets down to the doing the change, I don’t want to. Sometimes I believe I can’t. My husband lets way to much slide. There has not been consistancy yet after quite some time. There is a lot more playful spanking which absolutely is no deterrent. I suffer from depression, fibromyalgia, and the no self worth and what’s the use thoughts. I need his consistency. I need him to show me that I’m more capable and worthy than I give myself credit for. I will get less and less productive as he lets things slide. My husband struggles with causing me more dispair because of the things that I deal with. He struggles still in adding to my discomfort. He spent most of his life striving to make his wife happy. He has made me cry and hurt at times, but it was never intentional. Now I’m asking him to apply pain, intentionally, to ultimately lessen my pain. Procrastination has become a way of life for me at home (never at work, because I knew there were consequences (economically, professionally, but mostly because the life, death, and health of my patients whom I loved). If my husband overlooks something over and over again, I am less and less likely to ever get around to it. There is a saying on Pinterest that I saw. It said “Some of the things that you take for granted, are what other people pray for”. Remember back… when you prayed that your husband would embrace the dd lifestyle. That’s where some of us are. I am a spanko (I didn’t even know there was such thing, and I felt too weird to share that desire with my husband). I did not look up “adult or domestic discipline”.. I looked up “submissive wife.” I was ashamed that my husband almost died, and I didn’t show him enough respect over the years. I wanted to do better in our last days, months, years. I never heard of dd. Now I pray for it. I soooo enjoy the playful spankings that have occured from “coming out” to my husband. I DO NOT enjoy a punishment spanking with a hickory paddle. I enjoy feeling like a better wife to my husband, yet I dont necessarily enjoy doing the things that it takes to be that better wife. Try to embrace change as many of us in blogland are still praying and hoping for more change. I vote for you both, as you do the things that bring strength and foreverness to your love and marriage. God bless you and yours, Belle L.
    P.S. I don’t know why I write blog post in other people’s comment sections, and not post on my own dang blog.

  19. Beast was always the good guy in the film/story, just took him some time to get everyone else to see his point. Beauty couldn’t see it – fought it, ran from it, but eventually found exactly what she had been looking for all along, in that unexpected packaging. Funny thing- i always pulled for beast in that story. But i really hear you – change always seems to come when i’m finally feeling comfortable with what was. And frankly – sometimes i just want to float along happily the easy way.

  20. I vote for both of you having the best times of your lives from here on out. Seems the two of you are on your way up that road again after a detour.

    ^^^These past few posts and the TIC comments have made me giggle a lot. Thank you. ^^^

    If we are being TIC, I vote for Beauty and will meet you in the bar with Sarah. No gin and tonic for me, though. Blackberry brandy, please. :)

    Now being cute is political? Geesshhh!!! (rolls eyes) :)

  21. That made me smile Susie. It’s funny how that sincere HOH-ness CAN make us take a step back and, well, rethink!

    Dee, of course you can ask me anything! Yes, it did feel like this the first time around in lots of ways, but it was more intense, scarier then, because we did not have the experience yet, the foundation built, the history to look back at to know… “This will work for us, does work. We can do this.”

    Belle, you did make me stop and realize I should be more appreciative of what I do have. Change is hard for me, because I’ve had so much change in my life, drastic and painful change for many many years. And yet, still, change is what life is about and is the only way to make new things happen, to grow. So yes, I will work on embracing rather than fighting change.

    Greengirl, yes, the story always called to me. It fits us! :) But that floating part…it’s all too easy to float along, isn’t it?

    Bree, at the end of the day, the vote for the both of us sounds best. Smart girl! I’ll meet you in that bar anytime, anywhere! In fact, I think we’re all due for a girl’s night out! And thanks, I do love seaglass too!

  22. Callie told me that she gets to where spanking hurts more because it means that she disappointed her husband. Right now the spankings are all about me. Maybe someday I’ll see Wes’s needs as important, too. Thanks for sharing.

  23. i need to back track and read the last post..sorry sara, i must have missed it…but change is good in the end…i dont like change either it unsettles me but in the end, its always good….good luck – im sure you will get through with Grant’s help.
    hugs kiwi xx

  24. Hey Sara, seriously, I’m with both Greengirl and Grace. Of course, playing along my vote is with Beauty.


  25. Bea, it’s hard to feel like its not all about you when it’s your bottom on the line…but, it should get to the point where the emotions outweigh the physical reality. Part of that might come as your husband learns to communicate…i.e. talk…when he spanks.

    Kiwi, Grant will no doubt get me through any and all required change. He’s a determined man!

    Thanks Roz! If I have to get the spankings, I’m glad I also at least get the votes! :)

    I have had lots of occassion to perfect my pout! ;) Thanks Golde & Tevye

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