I am in my mid 50′s, and Grant in his early 60′s. We have been married for a long time, and been a couple for over 30 years. Seven plus years ago Grant and I began a Domestic Discipline lifestyle, and a journey into further self discovery as well. The purpose of this blog is to have a place to write about issues and ideas that can be publicly shared and discussed.
I am a professional woman with a full life, a mother, and also a spanked wife. It works. I have never been happier or more fulfilled, and our marriage is loving and fun. I felt it was important to share my life as openly and honestly as I can, because there are not so many places where this kind of traditional marriage is shown to couples as a real life option.
All comments are moderated, so please be respectful.
Thank you for visiting! Sara
You can email me at: Sarasblog@aol.com
This material is protected and may only be used with written permission from the author.
Copyright © 2011, 2012 Sara Rogers
Hi. I would just like to say I really like your blog. It is so nice to know that I am not the only one out there into this. I am about to get married and am very nervous. I want DD to be a part of our marriage and wasn’t sure it could work. It is such a relief to know that a marriage CAN work with DD.
Love the changes in the look! You are really becoming computer literate……..CONGRATS!
Nicolette
I think you and your husband will have many happy years together as you travel in down the road of self discovery, and mutual explorations of a DD relationship. It’s good to know that there are other professionals out there in ‘the world” that live in a lifestyle that not only saves many marriages but also draws couples closer together.
I love your blog and I have added it to my blogroll. I know you are into DD vs BDSM, but your real life experiences have so much to be learned from from all of us in the “alternative” lifestyle arena. Thank you for sharing,
Sara,
I love your posts. They are well though-out and insightful.
One of the areas that I struggle with is finding a submissive voice. I am a professional and have always served in a management capacity. In previous relationships, (even before DD), I was frequently told by my partner, “I don’t work for you”.
My question to you then is, how do you or did you find your ‘submissive voice’? Did you automatically speak in a non-threatening, respectful way or did you have to re-learn your word choices and re-hear your tone?
Sometimes when I am reading these blogs, yours and others, I re-imagine the situations to determine my personal reactions. Frequently, Not Good! lol. I get angry, defensive, I want to fight the good fight for my blogging sisters! How nutty is that.
But then when I take the time to think and rethink the situations and actively try to find a way to respond appropriately, not fan the flames. Unfortunately it is not always my first thought, I don’t automatically have a submissive voice.
Is this a situation with which you are familiar? Do you have any insight?
Regards,
k
I was just reading a few of your posts and wanted to say how thought provoking and well expressed they were. While I am not in a Dd relationship, I am in the beginnings of discovering a wonderful sensual spanking relationship with my husband, and I respect everyone’s choice to find their own happiness…and you sound like a truly happy couple.
Anyways, just wanted to say hello. Best wishes, Terpsichore
Thank you all for making me feel so welcomed in the blogging community and supported by the readers! Sara
Hi!
I just ran across a link to your site and had to say “Thank you” ! Finding sites like yours when one is a “newbie” is invaluable!
My husband and I have just begun our DD journey and I’ve never been happier or more “balanced”. know we will have bumps in the road, but I am so excited to be a place I’ve always wanted to be: loving, obedient and submissive.
We just started maintenance spankings 3x week; I am still feeling so humbled and submissive from last night. I am so grateful to my HOH for loving me so much he will do this for me.
Hi Seansgirl! I am glad you found me, and especially glad you found my blog helpful. I know when we began DD I read everything I could get may hands on. It was so helpful to read other’s real accounts to get a better understanding of how this lifestyle could work for us. I wish you the very best, and appreciate your comment!
Sara, I’ve been interested in DD since I stumbled upon it in a magazine article. I’m a 26 year old student and sometimes I get so stressed with work and life that I explode towards my partner. I would love to be disciplined but thus far we’ve only gotten to erotic spankings…I think we’d both be better off if I were just disciplined! How should I broach this topic?
Samantha, you broach this topic like any other in a good relationship with honesty and respect for yourself and your partner. You might want to have a couple of print outs on spanking or DD to show him or email to him. We who have this need for discipline are as normal as the next person. It is just a part of our makeup, but a very real one. I think it is best not to deny it, if you hope for a long term relationship with this man. You might be surprised that he is more than willing, especially since he is open to erotic spanking. Let me know how it goes! My best, Sara
Hello,
I want to ty you for your posts. This is not the first time I have read or wanted d/d in my life with the man I love. We are now at a serious crossroads. We never did implement it. I would like to know if you could e mail me, a commitment contract or what it may look like. I have read a lot on you and am so very much the same. I need some help here. I know what I want and need and believe in but I just don’t know how to put it down for him. We are already separated, not married. Thank you Lisa
Lisa, Thank you for the nice comment. It is such a relief to find gals we can relate to online, isn’t it? I have posted a response to you as I promised. Best of luck!
Hi Sara,
If you would please contact me, I can’t find a contact address for you on your website I’d like to ask you some questions about DD privately. I’m just a bit nervous just putting it out there. I’ve been lurking on your site for a while, but am not quite ready to just talk about it on here.
Thanks,
Eunice
Hello Sara,
My name is Stormy, my husband is Bryce. We too live the “DD” /HOH lifestyle, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My problem is I do not know anyone who shares the same Ideals and commitments to our chosen lifestyle. This is the first time that I have ever attempted to contact anyone on the intranet due to the lack of trust I have in people. My husband found your blog and sent it to me to read, I immediately felt connected to you through your words. We have very similar families, and like you I have a very beautiful and loving husband who guides me not only with his heart, but with his hands as well. I know that with the spankings comes the promise of feeling better, both physically and emotionally. Hope to hear from you Sara…Thanks Stormy
Sara,
I found your blog this holiday, while I was ill. I really valued your reflections on marriage particularly as I am of a similar age and also a professional.
Besides all the other elements of my life, I am also the mom of a bipolar son. My son is younger than yours but has been diagnoised for longer. I wish your son a healthy and happy life. I know that it is hard to be the parent and at times I have sat silent and sad as other parents talk about there children’s successes and struggles. (Once a friend I met for coffee was talking about graduation and sports and mouthing off, while I was thrilled that my son was finally well enough to be left alone at home for a couple of hours. I focus on an idea I picked up from a speaker with a doctorate and scizophrenia who said essentially that rather than focusing on our children having a normal life we should as parents focus on them having a healthy and happy life, which might or might not look ‘normal’ or ‘successful’ in our particular community.
Blessing of the season.
Sasha
Hi Eunice, Hi Stormy, and welcome! Yes there are many like minded women, aren’t there? We just don’t wear the news on our sleeves that we live in this style marriage!
Thank you for your kind thoughts Sasha. I wish you the very best with your son and your marriage! “focus on them having a healthy and happy life” is great advice!
My Best, Sara
I have been reading your blog for several months now, and it has really helped my husband and I decide to give the D.D lifestyle a chance. Some of the websites and blogs are…scary.
I really relate to you on many levels. I too am the big boss at work, a mom etc.
I was wondering if you could maybe give some “starter” advice. Some road bumps you hit, that maybe we could avoid.
I would really appreciate it.
Sara,
I am 43 and my wife is 40 we have been married for 21 years and together for 25, yes if you do the math we started very young. We have experimented with various areas of D/d, D/s and M/s almost the whole time we have been together. It just seems to be part of who we are, we have been M/s for about 3 years now.
I have enjoyed your blog and by your grace I will pop in from time to time to see how things are going. Thank you
J.
I just wanted to thank you very much for your openness about this, and the courage to take your relationship in the direction of DD. I’ve only recently realized that, at 45, I wasn’t going to grow out of my spanking “interest”–I’m not convinced it’s a fetish, if so many people find themselves drawn to it.
I don’t know if we will grow into a truly DD couple–DH is one of those who would never have considered doing this if I hadn’t first suggested it, and then shown him multiple articles/websites, etc, that describe how I feel. We’ve never really been on the rocks, but I find your descriptions of the dynamic you live resonate very powerfully with me.
I wish you very well, and hope you continue to experience joy and growth in this lifestylee.
Thank you for visiting Sir J! I enjoy your intelligent blog as well and have added it to my blogroll.
I appreciate your kind comment Jule, thank you. You know, Grant would never have considered this lifestyle either, if I had not suggested it, researched, sent him things to read for many many months. We grew into it together. He saw the benefits over time and is definitely a committed convert now, but that took a year or so. What you read here now reflects almost 4 years of growth together, so give yourselves time! I wish you the best! Sara
I don’t remember how I found you and actually I lost you for a day or two and emailed Todd&Suzy asking them to remind me “She has three kids! Her husband’s name is Grant! She’s a business woman! I think her name starts with an S!” and they were kind enough to help.
I love finding blogs and going back to read older posts once I’m hooked on one. You are very eloquent and seem very intelligent. It is truly a joy, not just to read what you have experienced, but to read your words. I love the DD blogs I’ve found because almost without exception, it reminds me, as I end an emotionally abusive marriage of 11 years, that there are other partners out there whom you can put your utmost faith and trust in. I have found one for now, but tend to believe he’s the exception rather than the rule, plus I don’t know how long we’ll be together. But you, and others, remind me that you can find a partner who respects and honors you, as you do them.
Thank you Sara!
Shygirl
Dear Sara, Does your husband ever give punishment spankings, What implements does he use. What positions do you have to take, Do you wear garter-belt and stockings to be more erotic to him. Are your spankings always on your bare bottom.
sixofthebest, if you read my blog, you’d know the answer to your questions! Your comment sounds more voyeuristic than anything else, and for that kind of thing, you will need to look elsewhere.
Sara, I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time. I appreciate your articulate thoughts and I’ve often felt like I had someone to talk to when I read your blog. You’ve helped me feel that perhaps my wife and I are not crazy.
I’ve just found your blog and very grateful for it! ITs so nice to have somewhere to share these intense feelings and emotions x
Hi Sara,
I posted this primer and thought you might be interested.
http://lurvspanking.wordpress.com/2009/10/26/for-couples-seeking-spanking/
LS
Dear Sara and Grant;
I’ve been following your blog for some time now. I was recently asked if I had any suggestions for a good book on passive aggressiveness. As I do not – was wondering if you might have any suggestions? Other than just ‘Googling’ it?
Thanks;
Nicole
Dear Nicole,
I am so sorry for missing your question. I don’t have any specific books to recommend, I just DO know passive aggressive behavior is at it’s core dishonest and will hurt a marriage. It usually stems from childhood and having learned dysfunctional ways to handle anger. There are books, and there is therapy, to learn to recognize and handle anger in a productive way.
My best, Sara
I just wanted to stop by your site and thank you so much for creating such a welcoming, informative site. Your site has helped my marriage in so many ways. You made me feel “normal” and without this site I assure you I would be divorced today. I started a blog tonight and I hope you don’t mind but I thanked you there too. I have come out of my shell so to speak and after a year and a half of lurking I am starting a blog and plan to start commenting on other blogs that I have read. Again thanks to you and Grant for all that you have done for my family.
Rebekah
Rebekah,
Thank you so much for letting me know. It makes me feel wonderful to think that sharing our life has helped someone with themselves and their marriage.
I know without Dd we would be divorced as well, and I know that there are so many who have a need for spanking and thrive with domestic discipline.
I started this blog because I felt it was time we ‘normal’ people started talking about this thing we do, and I am so pleased to hear you are going to be sharing your life as well.
Thank you,
Sara
Hoping all is well with you. Thankyou for a stable voice in what can be a scary place. Please turn your journey into a book. Bea